I'm In Here
by KDramaFever23
Summary: When Christian focused too much on work, Ana felt unwanted. She goes for a vacation by herself and meets a handsome French guy. A story about a wife tangled between her husband and lover.
1. Prologue

**So guys I just needed to write what's on my mind. Thank you!**

**PROLOGUE**

_Dear Christian, _

_Before we got married, I wrote this poem for you. _

_**His piercing eyes so strong and gray,**_

_**He was my predator and I was his prey.**_

_**Whatever he desires, I always submit**_

_**Though what he wants is beyond my limits.**_

_**You may think he's perfect and brighter than the stars.**_

_**But deep down, his chest holds aching scars.**_

_**Scars that made him lose his faith from above**_

_**And scars that made him feel he is not worthy of love.**_

_**He's a man appearing tough but weak inside.**_

_**He's the man I fear because of his dark side.**_

_**He's a man with a crumpled heart that will make me bleed.**_

_**But he'll always be the man I'm desperately in love with.**_

_**Because of me he strives to be tough and strong.**_

_**He tells me the reasons why he was hurting all along.**_

_**To keep me, he learned to face his fears.**_

_**He takes the risks though it may lead him to tears.**_

_**He tries . . . That's why I'm still here.**_

_But what if you stopped trying? What if you prioritized work than your family? I spent nights sleeping before you came home and I spent days waking up after you left for work. Teddy and Phoebe miss you a lot. They always ask, "Why does Daddy work so much?" It pains my heart when they ask that, Christian._

_Grey Enterprises reached its peak and you focused on it too much that you didn't spend enough time with us. _

_I am writing you this letter because I am not brave enough to tell you the truth. I have an affair with someone. I am sorry, Christian. It started out with lust but it ended up with our strings attached. Christian, I love you and I love him too. I am so sorry, Christian. _

_And honestly, I don't know if I'll still be here._

**Should I continue or not? E.L. James owns FSOG but I own that poem. Lol. What do you think of the poem? What do you think of the story? Should I continue or not? Thank you!**

**P.S. There are so many Christian cheating stories. I realized why shouldn't I write the opposite.**


	2. Chapter 1: Time

**Thank you guys for the reviews and please stay tuned**

**Chapter 1: TIME**

_Tick tock. Tick tock_. The clock's sound echoed through the room. I closed my eyes and pretended that he isn't late again. What's the commotion this time? Is it about the sales again? Is it about the important clients? Is his company more important than me? I am not asking him to make me his first priority; I just wanted him to give me some importance.

We have been married for five years already. It has been a year like this. He goes home late and leaves for work early. Sometimes I wonder if he has another woman but that just seems so impossible. He loves our two children so much that he cannot do it. I tried to understand. I tried to understand how the company is on its highest peak. Christian's money doubled up and so does the GEH's fame. He needed more hardwork and I tried to understand.

I've been waiting here for an hour. I made an effort to dress nicely and wear my red fuck me heels. It had been two months since we last slept together. He rarely has time now. He spends his time thinking about the company too much and I lost count on the times he wakes me up just to tell me he'll be out of the state.

Then, he arrived looking haggard but still handsome. He kissed my lips before sitting across me. "Babe, I'm sorry I'm late. The clients were so interested with GEH. Can you believe it? This will enhance the company's progress!" I forced a smile at that. He ordered food for us and it was so hard for me to keep quiet.

"I waited for an hour" I told him.

He looked guilty as he spoke, "I am so sorry, Baby. Work was just so stressful. GEH products are so in demand right now. I am really sorry. But don't worry, Baby, I am doing this for us. I am doing this for you and the kids. I want to give you a better life. I want Teddy to inherit a successful company in the future and also Phoebe."

I tried to sound tender, "Christian, what if I don't-"

His phone interrupted us. He checked it and told me, "Eat" before answering it. Like a good wife, I did what I was told. I ate and listened to him as he talked to someone over the phone.

"Grey . . . I'll present it tomorrow morning . . . That's no problem, I can always do the report later. . . . No worries, the clients are going to love my proposal." He continued to talk until I finished my food. I stared at him in annoyance. I really hate what he's doing right now. How can he think of business when we are eating together?

"Okay, thank you." He said before hanging up. His jaw slightly dropped when he noticed I was done. "I want to go home." I said before standing up. He followed me and held my hand as soon as he reached me.

"I'm sorry" He whispered. I can hear the sincerity but that doesn't change the fact that he turned into this workaholic man who almost ignored his family's presence. He touched my face and said, "I'll make it up to you."

Taylor drove us home and when we reached our house, our lips met. It was the neediest kiss we ever had. He pressed me against the wall and kissed my lips like I was the last drop of water in the desert. He tore my dress off and I did the same with his clothing. We made out and the foreplay just went perfectly with us. There I am on the bed with him and he was about to take me. Oh, how I waited for a moment like this.

I feel him position himself on my entrance and when he was about to make love to me, his phone rang. We stared at each other for a long time. My eyes pleaded him and his looked hesitant. I kissed him feverishly and he kissed back inattentively.

The phone kept ringing and I begged, "Take me"

He deliberated for a moment and said, "I'm sorry baby but the call is important. I am so sorry." With that, he pressed his lips against my lips one more time and got himself out of the bed.

I pulled the covers and faced the other side of the room. He never did this before. He never left me hanging. What went wrong? Does he have another girl? Tears came out from my eyes as I listened to his business-like talk over the phone.

I feel rejected.

It didn't take long before I fell asleep.

**What do you think guys? If you were her, would you cheat on him? Thank you.**


	3. Chapter 2: Rejection

**Thank you so much for your amazing reviews. I got so inspired by writing this one. So please enjoy!**

**CHAPTER 2: REJECTION**

"Mommy, when is Daddy coming home? I really miss watching TV with him." My heart sank for my little boy. He really looked sad. We ate dinner together and he really seemed upset. Phoebe on the other hand remained quiet. She was just playing with the food. I looked at both of them and I just wanted to cry. A three year old girl and five year old boy should be happy and not like this.

I tried to cheer them up, "Teddy, why don't we watch it? The three of us?"

He shook his head and said, "I want Daddy."

"He's busy, Teddy and I am sure he'll be with us when he is free." I don't even believe my words anymore. Christian seemed so busy nowadays and it is killing me. It's okay if he is ignoring but not his kids. I can't afford to look at my children with sorrowful expressions. I closed my eyes and sighed. I just don't know what to do.

"Mommy, will you read me a bedtime story tonight?"

My eyes widened a little at what Phoebe just asked. Christian used to do that to her and now he is not here. I faked a smile and said, "Okay, Sweetie, I am going to read something to you tonight."

I gave my attention to Teddy and said, "Son, let's watch tv?"

He shook his head and stood up from the chair. He ran to his bedroom and slammed the door closed so loudly. I closed my eyes at that. Christian's absence is really affecting him badly. My heart ached for my son. I just don't know how to feel anymore. He didn't make love to me the other night and now I realized his children misses him too.

Gail took care of everything so I took Phoebe in her room and read 'The Little Mermaid' to her. She smiled as I read every word to her and I am glad this had a happy ending. She just disappeared in the original version because the one she loves found someone else. I paused at that. Is Christian cheating on me? I really don't know what to think now. I just feel like all this work is not normal and he is hiding something from me.

"Mommy" Phoebe's innocent voice interrupted my horrible thoughts.

"What Sweetie?"

"I miss Daddy" I tried to stop the pain in my heart.

"Me too" I found myself agreeing to her.

"Mommy, I wake up everyday when Daddy kiss me goodbye. He always tells me to tell you how he love you, Mommy. Sowwy I forget to tell you cuz I always play." I smiled at that. Well, I smiled at her cuteness and not what Christian told her to tell me.

I pressed my lips on her forehead and said, "Sweetie, go to sleep now." 

"Goodnight, I love you." She smiled at me.

I went out of her room and tried to kiss Teddy goodnight. It was locked and I knocked again and again. I know he is still awake. After a hundred knocks, I gave up. He doesn't want to open the door and I must give him space. I pressed my forehead on the door and just let the tears fall silently. Christian's causing me pain now and I can see that Teddy will be too when he grows up.

With my back on the door and ass on the floor, I decided to wait for my husband. Where is he now? It's already ten and he is still out? What's wrong with him? I just don't know what to do anymore. Am I right? Does he have another woman?

Please God, no. I can't bear the thought of him with someone else. How would our children react? It would really pain my heart. It would stab me to death.

I heard the door open and I went downstairs and found my husband looking stressed. His eyes widened as he saw me and I folded my arms at him. He looked worried at me and he said, "Baby, it's late now. You are still awake?"

"Maybe I should be the one telling you that! Why are you still working when it is ten in the evening? What the hell, Christian?!"

"I thought we had this conversation."

"Christian, your children need you! You should've seen their faces a while ago and you will understand what I mean!"

His expression looked pain and he said, "Someday, you'll understand all of these."

I rolled my eyes and yelled, "How can we fucking understand?!"

He looked shocked. He blinked a few times before whispering, "Baby, please slow down. Please try to understand."

Tears fell down my cheeks as I asked, "Are you cheating on me?"

His eyes widened and said, "You think I'd cheat on you. We had this conversation when you were pregnant with Teddy and didn't you believe me? I could never do that to you!"

I closed my eyes and whispered, "Christian, please . . ."

He tried to reach out to me and I shove his hand away. I opened my eyes to see his pained expression. "Baby, please . . ."

I folded my arms and told him honestly, "I just don't know what to believe in anymore." He held my wrist and he wanted to say something but he can't find the right words.

"Let's sleep separately tonight. I need space." He lets go of my hand and we slept in two different rooms.

**Thank you guys. Thank you for supporting this story. Stay tuned for more chapters. Thank you!**


	4. Chapter 3: Space

**Thank you guys for the amazing reviews and I promise you that this won't be like any FSOG cheating stories. **

**CHAPTER 3: SPACE**

It's been days since the awful fight I had with him. I always wake up with an apology letter beside me but I have no courage to forgive him. I just don't know what to do now. Yes, I came back to sleeping in our room but it doesn't guarantee that everything will be fine. He's the same as usual. He keeps on doing his job and he doesn't spend time with us.

Teddy walked inside my room causing me to stop thinking about the situation. I feel pain for my son. A five year old should feel happy all the time but look at my son. He looks incomplete. He seems to be sad all the time. His eyes longed for his father and I couldn't hate Christian even more.

Without warning, Teddy wrapped his little arms around me and I held him tight. He wasn't crying or anything. He just remained silent which makes it worse. I never saw him like this before. He usually is an expressive little boy.

He pulled away from my embrace and said, "Mommy?"

"Yes, Sweetie?"

"I need to tell you something."

"Sure, what is it?"

"I heard you fighting with Daddy. I covered my ear and just cried." I froze at what he said. An odd feeling took over my heart and I didn't like it. Tear welled up my eyes and I stopped the urge to cry in front of my son.

He said, "Mommy, can I ask something?"

"Sure, son." My voice cracked.

"My friend from school told me his parents fight all the time and they got divorced. Will you divorce Daddy?" He said and I widened my eyes at that.

"No, of course not!" I exclaimed and he just nodded his head. It didn't take long before he let his tears fall. It breaks my heart to see him like this and after rocking him, he fell asleep. I carried him to his room and kissed his forehead.

I let my teardrops fall as I said, "I am so sorry for your Daddy, son."

As I stood up, I decided to go inside Phoebe's room. She was sleeping soundly with the TV on and I just lied down beside her. I turned off the TV and just found serenity beside my beautiful daughter. I looked at her sleeping form and admired

how beautiful she is. One day she'll grow up to be a movie star. I kissed her cheeks and idolized the person beneath the surface.

She's a three year old girl who knows how her father is always not around but believes that he is doing it for her. I love her vibrant aura. I love the way her innocent mind thinks. She really loves her father and I wanted to be like her just once. I wanted not to feel all this negativity towards Christian.

Then I sat down and realized that this isn't how things are supposed to be. My kids need him. I always gave him the choice. Now's the time to make his kids his only option.

I stood up and packed my bags. I called the airport and talked to Gail. I know that this is a rushed decision but I am going to Paris. I just need to think about all of this and when I'm not around; Christian will have no choice but to watch over the kids. I made sure that Gail will have her day off and won't let Christian get a babysitter. This is all I can do for now. I need to be far away.

I dialled his number and as usual, it enters the voice mail.

"This is Grey speaking. I am busy now so please tell me what's on your mind."

"Christian, uh . . . this is me. Listen, I'll go to Paris now. I'm sorry if this is rushed but I just need space from you. I just want to think about everything. I also want you to be with our children. They need you more, Christian. Just cooperate with me this time, okay? Don't worry about me. Just be with them, okay?"

Just like that, I informed him without saying I love you.

**Do you agree with her decision? Please tell me what you think. If you were her, would you do the same? Thank you and stay tuned for France. Please review! **


	5. Chapter 4: Erwan

**Thank you so much guys for the endless support and the uplifting reviews. Here comes Chapter 4. Enjoy!**

**CHAPTER 4: ERWAN**

The plane started to take off and I stared outside the window. I managed to escape the bodyguards and be free. I closed my eyes and saw my husband's face. I just want him to be with my children now. They already had enough time for me and I am looking forward to Christian fulfilling his duty. I listened to a sad song through my walkman. A single tear dropped from my eye and I stared at my hands.

Why did it have to be like this? All he needs to do is spend time with us. Why do I need to go away just to make him feel obligated of our children. I took a deep breath and took my wedding ring. I put it inside my wallet. I just need to think things through.

I closed my eyes and a memory came to my mind.

_We are sitting down the meadow and I was nine months pregnant with Phoebe already. I frowned because she's getting so heavy. Christian wrapped his arms around me and I leaned into him as I sighed._

"_What is it, Love?"He asked. _

"_I want her to come out already. She's so heavy." I complained._

_He laughed and kissed me on the cheek. "Well, I am excited to see my baby girl too but let's just wait when she decides. You want to give birth normally, right?" I smiled at him before we pressed our lips together for a kiss._

_We got startled when Teddy skipped in front of us. Phoebe kicked too and Christian frowned a little bit. He chastised Teddy tenderly, "Son, please don't do that again. Your mom really got scared and so did your little sister."_

_Teddy smiled apologetically and sat down in front of me. He kissed my stomach and said, "Did I startle you, Baby?" She kicked and my little boy laughed. _

"_I love you, Baby and I am so sorry." He kissed my stomach and I offered a warm smile to him. Christian felt it too. He smiled at Teddy and pinched his cheek playfully. He played with his hair and Teddy started laughing._

_I feel complete now. I have my family with me and I cannot ask for more._

My eyes opened as soon as a stewardess woke me up. I checked on my phone and there were one hundred seven missed calls from my husband. I shook my head and waited for the plane to land. When it did, I realized that this will be the first time for me to land on the airport. We always used the private jet so it became new to me.

I miss my kids but I know they are happy now because my husband is there. I really hope that Christian knows what Teddy feels now. I just want them to reconnect again before we do.

"Do you need taxi?" A French middle aged man talked to me and I suddenly panicked. Did I just forget how to take a cab now?

"Uh . . ." Before I can even answer, he grabbed my bags and I followed after him. "Hey give me back my bags!" He looked at me and smiled before running away so quickly. I ran after him and so did the security guards. We reached him and a lot of French guys appeared in front of us. They fought with the guards and I grabbed my bag from the guy after I applied the self-defense moves Ray taught me.

What I didn't expect is that he stood up and pushed me down the ground. I had Christian's name on my mind as I braced myself for his kick.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

Nothing came. I opened my eyes and saw the middle aged man being beaten by a curly haired guy wearing a denim jacket and backpack. He managed to beat two other guys. He spoke to the guards in French language so I didn't understand. Then he offered his hand to pick me up and so I took it.

I stood up and said, "Thanks" I paused as I saw his face. He had tantalizing green eyes and red lips. His dark curly hair added up to his beauty. He smiled sincerely at me and as our hands met, a jolt of electricity occurred.

I shook my head and remembered my family. "Sorry, I need to get going now. Thank you so much for the help."

I walked past him but he caught my wrist and said, "Miss, you almost got in trouble so I won't let you walk around Paris alone." I flushed as I heard his sexy French accent. He seemed so fluent and handsome and... Ana, you have a husband!

I shook my head and shook my wrist away from him. "I've been here many times now so I will be fine."

"Well, let me take you to your hotel." He really was insisting so I just gave in. We said thanks to the guards and roamed around France. He carried my bags for me and I never expected him to be this talkative. "My name is Erwan Jastoff and welcome to my country!"

I laughed at his cheerfulness and said, "I am Ana"

"My lady, I hope you enjoy your vacation in the City of Love. I am your tour guide, Erwan Jastoff for French Tourism Inc.!" He made me laugh and I was about to say something but he dragged me inside a bakeshop.

I got confused but he bought bread for me. I really don't want to take it but he insisted a lot. We went out of the bakeshop and I said, "Thank you, Erwan. You saved me this day and you even fed me."

He smiled and said, "No big deal"

I opened my mouth to express my gratitude again but a little kid in ratty clothes interrupted. He said some French words that I don't understand but I guess I know what it meant because Erwan gave all his bread to the child. I got goosebumps when he pinched the child's cheek playfully and messed his hair.

I know this is wrong but my heart is beating fast.

**What do you think of Erwan? Thank you guys. Please tell me what you think. Please review.**


	6. Chapter 5: Story

**Thank you guys for the support and letting me know about your opinion of Erwan. Thank you so much and this is the fifth chapter! **

**CHAPTER 5: STORY**

"Are you okay there, Baby? Is Daddy treating you right?" I asked Teddy over the phone. I called the house and got lucky that Christian wasn't there.

"Yes, Mommy. We had a heart to heart conversation and I finally told him what I felt." I smiled at that. Teddy has been carrying a heavy baggage since Christian became inattentive. I am glad that his father knows now. For a five year old, Teddy seemed so matured and I am glad he had the guts to tell it to his father.

"So where is Phoebe?" I asked him.

"She's asleep now, Mommy."

I smiled and said, "I am glad you two are sleeping soundly now. I am so happy that your father comes home early and leaves late in the morning."

After a long pause, Teddy asked me, "Mama I haven't seen you in three days now. When are you coming home? We really miss you."

"Well, I am going to spend my weekday here so I am coming back on Friday. Don't tell your sister because I want it to be a surprise." I cheered him up. Five days in Paris will make my head clear and this is enough space.

Teddy answered in a cheerful voice, "Yehey! I love you Mama"

"I love you too, Son." I told him and he yawned. I giggled at that and we said our goodnights before hanging up the phone. It may be night time there but the day is just starting here in France. I am patiently waiting for my tour guide. I folded my arms and braced myself for his arrival. With Erwan, everything is happy. He is just so carefree that I enjoy his company.

"Mademoiselle, have you been waiting long?" I smiled as I heard a French man speak.

I faced his gorgeous face and giggled, "Where are we going?"

He smiled and said, "I'll give you a tour."

We walked along Paris and just laughed at each other's company. I am enjoying this. This has been the first time since I felt free. There are no bodyguards to watch me and Erwan is just so funny. He doesn't get mad at my little mistakes and for some reason; he made me realize that Christian always strangled me from the beginning.

We snapped photos and then I laughed at his wacky faces. Why does he always act that way? "Come on, Ana! Do some funny faces!" I didn't listen to him. I wasn't made for goofy faces at all. I am kind of a serious person. Then he grabbed the camera and made me laugh by tickling my sides. He took one photo and I frowned.

"Look at you!" I blushed as I saw the photo. My mouth was widely opened as he caught a photo of me laughing. I punched him playfully and stole the camera. I ran and he chased after me.

That day felt like a lifetime. I learned a lot about him. His name is Erwan Jastoff and he is thirty years old. He works for a company in Paris. He finished college in Harvard University and he clearly loved travelling. He has four brothers who are happily married.

"What about you, Ana? Tell me something about you." He said.

"Well, my name is Anastasia Rose Steele and I am twenty seven years old. That's all! " Steele? Why did I say that? Why didn't I try to tell him that I have a husband and kids? I wanted to tell him so badly but it just seemed so wrong.

"Everybody has a story to tell, Ana."

"What if I don't want to tell you?"

"Well, I respect that." He said.

We walked silently afterwards and I felt the sun slowly going down. Am I being unfair to him by not telling my condition? I am just afraid he won't treat me the same once he finds out the truth. Maybe once he'll know I have a husband, he won't be carefree again. Maybe he'll try to back off.

He led me somewhere and my eyes widened as I realized we are inside a cemetery. "What are we doing here, Erwan?"

"Like I said, everybody has a story to tell." I looked at him intensely and just followed his footsteps. What are we really doing here? Is this going to be important? We stopped in front of two graveyards and I watched his expression turn into pain. This is something he never let me see before.

This is the other side of him.

I read the two tombs and those were 'Cosette Jastoff and Madelyn Jastoff'. I stared intensely at him and I feel my heart fluttering.

He sat down the ground in an Indian position and I did the same beside him. I waited for him to speak and when he did, I became attentive, "Cosette was my wife, Ana. Five years ago, we got married and I couldn't get happier. When she got pregnant, I felt complete. I felt like I was having the time of my life."

"What happened?" I asked fearfully.

Tears flowed down his face before he answered, "She died after giving birth to our daughter. I thought I was going to be fine. I have my daughter, Madelyn with me but it didn't take long before she had cancer. She died two years ago and I was left alone."

I gasped. He is going through something like this?

He smiled and said, "My parents did everything they can to help me. I became an alcoholic but they sent me to rehab. And there I realized that my two girls won't be happy if I live like this. I decided to stay close to God and I never missed one Sunday at church. I became inspired and there I believed that after this life, I'll be reconnected to Cosette and Madelyn."

I put my hand on his shoulder and he said, "God helped me, Ana. He made me realize that life is short so I should live it to the fullest. That's why I am travelling now and helping charity for kids with cancer."

He continued to cry and I just listened to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and watched the sun set before us.

**What do you think of Erwan's story? Please stay tuned, guys. Thank you so much. Do you think he likes Ana? Thank you. Please leave a comment.**


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